This is not a Dovi story

But it's SO freaking funny I have to share it.

I'm actually very proud of my school supply endeavors. Unlike my darling friend Shosh who ran around all over and spent 4 million dollars on Crayola Washable Markers Classic Colors Only Please, I watched the sales circulars and slowly amassed my school supplies, many of them for only a penny each.

Which brings me to Elisha's story. Which must be recorded. And retold at his Bar Mitzvah. In addition to his "selling his birthday Munchkins on the bus in kindergarten story. You will notice a pattern here.

I bought 8 teeny tiny bottles of Purell at Staples for a penny each (along with my folders-recall this post) .

Day: First Day of School.
Time: Immediately after the happy children get off the bus.
Event: Phone call from my friend Becca:

"Where did Elisha get all that money?"

Me: "Huh? He doesn't have any money"

Becca: "Well he bought cheese crackers from Gabrielle for $2 and pretzels from Estee for $1 on the bus!" (Lest you all think I'm starving the children, I put two bus snacks in the front pockets of their backpacks. Which they forgot.)

Me: "ELISHA!!! Where did you get $3?"

Elisha: "I sold something"

Me: "Please do not tell me that you sold someone your calculator?"

Elisha: "No, I sold three squirts of shdfngfsdgnsdkjgshdgoskeas"

Me: "You sold what?"

Elisha: " I sold three squirts of, you know, the hand sanitizer?"

Me: "For $3?"

Elisha: "Yes-for $1 a squirt"

Me, trying to keep a straight face: "But Elisha, you don't SELL your friends things. You SHARE"

Elisha: "But he offered!"

Me: "Who was it?"

Elisha: "XXXX XXXXXX"

Now I'm not going to say the name on the grounds it may incriminate him/Elisha, but suffice it to say that he's the son of an administrator at school!

So....

The next day Elisha took the $3 back to his friend, and I yelled impressed upon him that he MAY NOT sell squirts of Purell so his friends. For $1 each.

We figured out that each bottle holds maybe 12 squirts? So he sold 1/4 of the bottle. For $3. His cost was $.01. That's like 1200% profit.

I told Benjie that we should pull Elisha out of school and send him to work with Benjie at the store.