Mother of the Year.

Really.

Truly.

I think I deserve an award.

Last week was winter vacation. Some slackers people Shosh only take their children on ONE activity. ONE! Blasphemy! It's winter vacation, people. It's the week that, if you don't flee the frozen North to the warm(ish) South, you kill yourself taking your children on outings. Many outings. To places that you don't want to go to so much that you'd rather stick a fork in your eye than go to. But you go.


Because you are Mother of the Year.

Case in point:

Friday/Weekend: Hotel at Teen Convention. Allow small ungrateful children to swim at 10pm on Saturday night.

Monday: Sports Convention thingy. Agree to stand in line for over an hour so children can take five swings in the batting cages (every one of them missed)

Tuesday: Field Museum. Me and about 100,000 of my closest friends. It was wall to wall people in the Ancient Egypt Museum. I texted in the giant life-sized wigwam and attempted to explain to Jacob why not all Eskimos live in igloos, some live in underground homes.

Wednesday: Indoor Water Park. Remember the "poke eye with fork"? Yeah. That's it. I get insanely nervous at these places. And at this one, the lifeguards were more interested in flirting with each other than, y'know , watching the lazy river to make sure my children did not drown.

Thursday: Indoor Jump Place, out to lunch, and The Squeakwal (is that how it's spelled?) in the afternoon. My mom arrived in the evening.

Friday: Out to brunch with my mom


Seriously.

What is wrong with me?

Every day and activity?

Why did I do that? Am I a glutton for punishment?


Or did I simply want to keep them out of the house and try and keep the house relatively clean??????

Why I Love it That My Kids are Still Young

1) They still like school. Correction: They still LOVE school. School is fun! They skip out the door, excited to go every morning.

2) I can still pull the "I don't think you can clean up the den/bedroom/living room by yourselves before I come in there" trick-and they run, screaming at me not to come in yet. And make the darned room spotless. I've even gotten them to stop shoving everything under the bed/couch.

3) They still say to me, "Mommy, you're the best mommy ever. Thank you for making such yummy food for us." Or, Dovi's favorite, " You're the best mommy-in-the-whole-wide-I-ever-ever-had"

4) They are still..nice. I'm not the hugest fan of kids age 8-12. I think they are just a little mean. Maybe it's those pre-pubescent hormones kicking in or something, but I am nervous for those years.

5) Homework is not yet a battle. Need I say more?

6) Shana still lets me choose her clothes. Thank G-d.

7) They still want to hug and kiss me. Although they have requested that I stop pinching their cute little tushies. I suppose I should oblige them, but they are just so delectable. One day I'll tell you all about my insane, insatiable desire to bite my children. They are soooo yummy. I just want one tiny nibble. But that's for another day.

I'll add more if I think of anything.

What about you? What do you love about your kids?

Menorah Hunt

So I wanted to share with you a cherished P Family tradition.

OK that sounds uber-cheesy, but it's the honest truth.

At least one night during Chanukah, we go on a Menorah Hunt.

What is a Menorah Hunt, you ask?

I load the kids into the car and we drive around the neighborhood, looking for menorahs. Now my kids are 6, and Dovi is a fake 11, so this might not hold the same appeal, for, say, a family of teenagers. But if your kids are six or so or younger, give it a try.

This year I upped the ante and made them all hot cocoa in travel mugs (thankfully we own three!) and they took the Chanukah Gelt they got in little goodie bags at school. We also took a few stuffed animals along for the ride.

I have to tell you, I felt so cheesy as we were rolling down the street, looking for menorahs and singing Al HaNisim on the top of our lungs (since the Miami Boys Choir concert we went to last night, Jacob has taken to singing in this really "professional" cheesy voice. Cracks me up).

See, I don't always hate my kids.

It's all back to that "change the attitude, change the kid" thing. I met my kids off the bus with a huge smile, hugs, and enthusiasm, and it really made a difference.

Give the Menorah Hunt a try, it's really a blast.

Keepin' It Real

So here in Chicago, we have, what? 8 inches of snow? My friend Keren says no more than 3, but I say she's delusional.

So there was no school today.

MY KIDS ARE DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!!

OK I feel better now.

OMG they are soooooo annoying. Can I say that about the fruit of my loins? I seriously think that they. are. the. most. annoying. children. in. the. entire. world. ever.

They are 11 and 6, 6, 6.

So please explain to me why my house looks like it's inhabited by a pack of 2 year old monkeys? WHY can they not put away the Zingo when it is done with? Why must they throw the pieces across the room? Literally. I didn't make that up.

Dovi has had 2 accidents in as many days. Don't be all like "oh, poor Dovi, it's so hard for him". He's being lazy, pure and simple.

Elisha is currently eating his pasta. with. his. hands. OMG.

Remember P-ville? How cute it is? They colored all over it. A plague has come to P-ville.

Shana is literally attached to my body, moaning. She is bored. She is tired. She is crabby. All these descriptives were given to me, by her.

They are fighting. They are screaming.

And when they are not fighting or screaming, they are following me around the house asking me annoying questions.

THEY ARE SO ANNOYING.

Make them go away.

Make this day end.

Make them stop.

I even took them across the street to my neighbor to play in the snow with the neighbor kids. I don't know about you, but growing up in Wisconsin, we got lots of snow. I remember me and my sister playing for hours in the backyard. They played for less than 20 minutes. Then they were cold. Snow was in their boots.

Wimps I tell you, wimps.

Rebecca, remember that enormous snow fort you and I made? There are even pictures of it. There is enough snow for such a fort. They do not care.

They are annoying.

We are eating lunch, showering, and then I am sticking them in front of the TV and praying they do not bother me they are getting cozy and watching a movie.


How is it only 12:53 pm?

So Remember the Nok Hockey?

Sara the idiot? Screwed.

No one has it. Must order online. Hoping to get before Chanukah over. Knew wanted it for a month.

Why am I so stupid?

And btw why was I so stupid to go to Target on Dec 18th? I've never seen anything like it.

Dovi's AFO/SMO update...and some other randomness

Nadine (PT) is still waiting to hear back from the orthopedist about Dovi's AFO vs SMO quandary...

The Toyota dealership must be wondering why three or four people called them yesterday for seat belt extenders...

I'm sooo clever-the HHA needs to deliver Dovi's oxygen concentrator for Winter Camp


He uses liquid at home but it weighs like 200 pounds. I'm not joking. It takes Benjie and a friend to get that puppy up the stairs after it gets filled. One step at a time. Yet the delivery guy does it himself. Scary.

Either way, I digress. He needs the concentrator for camp. It needs to get delivered today. After 12. But before 4. Due to the expected impending madness of a snowstorm that we are going to get tomorrow. But I will be at work. And they will not leave it in the side porch. Because...ummmm....it costs like $4,000. Can't really say I blame them.

So what's a girl to do? I'm so clever...it's getting delivered to my mother in law's office. It's only like 6 blocks from my house. She's there all day. I'm one smart chick...


Am I the only one in a panic about the impending snow? I am not working tomorrow-it's that whole 20 hour thing again. I have a list about ten feet long of presents to buy errands to run tomorrow. When they are projecting 12 (yes, you read that correctly, Steph) inches of snow.

So I am assuming that said errands will not occur. So on the way to work this morning I dashed in and out of the fruit store-in nine minutes! Got to work on time, and shall take a slightly longer lunch hour than I should. But I will hopefully hit Target, JoAnns, and Sports Authority. Please G-d, make them have the stinking Nok Hokey.

Or I am, to put it politely, screwed.

Wish me luck.

In Which Sara Morphs into Two People

So I have a scheduling "difficulty" (a term I am using lightly here) that I need to talk out to figure out a solution.

Dovi leaves for Winter Camp at 1 pm on Sunday.

The Chai Lifeline Chanukah Party is 12-2 on Sunday.

Benjie is working on Sunday.

The Winter Camp drop off and Chanukah Party are approximately 30 minutes apart.

Last time I checked, I am one person.

I am talented, but how the heck am I going to pull this off?

Here's my tentative plan.

1. Go to party with car loaded up.
2. Shove lunch down Dovi's throat.
   
3. Stay 15 minutes.
   
4. Hopefully leave ESJ at Chanukah Party with lovely volunteers (note to self: Call Chai L ifeline office and ask if this is ok)
5. speed north drive to Winter Camp drop off with Dovi's 800 pieces of luggage. This year we get to add in an oxygen concentrator and BiPap machine just to keep 'em busy.
6. Arrive at drop off.
   
7. Kiss Dovi goodbye 400 times.
8. Instruct Bobby, Dovi's A.W.E.S.O.M.E. counselor about menorah lighting and gift distribution.
9. Make sure A.W.E.S.O.M.E. nurse Chana has no more questions. This is her third year dealing with him at Winter Camp so I suspect she'll do just fine. But she comes home very tired. Shocking.
   
10. Kiss Dovi 400 more times
11. speed south get back to Chanukah party by about 1:40 pm
    
12. Go home with sugared up, presented up ESJ
13. Collapse.

Sounds like a plan to me.


An on a different note, another totally awesome tidbit for minivan drivers. You know how, when the van is full of boosters for carpool, it's impossible. for. the. kids. to buckle. their. carseats? So my friend Rebecca did this in her old van, and I just remembered to call my car dealer this morning.

Did you know that you can call your dealer and order seatbelt extenders? As in little six inch doohickeys (omg doohickey is actually a word-my spell check didn't light up!) that can bring the buckle up six inches? And here is the kicker. Listen very carefully:

the seatbelt extenders are free.

Life changing, my dears, life changing.

I hope I've made your day just a teeny bit better.

Maybe I'm doing something right?

So the majority of the time my kids are little snots. They have their own agendas, and they very rarely coincide with mine. No, it is not play time. It's time to put on your coat for school. No, you may not have a 5th waffle-you will vomit. You know, I'm the "No Mom".

But for whatever reason, they've been somewhat...cooperative? cute? the past few days. Maybe it's because they know that I'm ever so slightly depressed over our lack of Thanksgiving plans, the first Thanksgiving in my entire life that I'm just with my immediate family. But I am thankful that I have an immediate family to spend it with so I've just gotta get over the woe is me I have no friends issue. And don't you all invite me. I'm a big girl and am just fine with it they're getting older? Smarter? They know what's good for them?

But maybe, just maybe, I'm doing something right. I really try my hardest with them. Yes, my neighbor calls me "The Prison Warden". I run a tight ship. It makes me sane and happy. And from what I can tell, my kids are relatively sane and happy.

Case in point:

On Sunday night, after their baths(insert gratuitous adorable picture of Elisha living up to his Aqua-Man fame),yes, Benjie was the coolest dad ever and gave each child THEIR OWN BUBBLE BATH. Do you know how huge this is for three kids who've been forced to share a tub since birth? I don't think I've EVER given individual baths! I hate bathing my kids. It's one of those parenting tasks that holds no allure for me. It's my laundry of parenting. Come to think of it, I am laundering the children. I guess I prefer filth.


So after their baths, they came downstairs and were coloring, their second favorite activity after building with blocks. We could throw away every other toy in this house and just keep markers and crayons, paper, and blocks, and we'd be A-OK. I overheard them chatting about making different parts of a city, and I decided to be a "Yes Mom" yet again.

I suggested to them that we hang a roll of paper on the den wall. They went for it.

I hereby present to you:

The City of P-ville, population 3

(three very cute, now shorn 6 year olds, and one 11 year old who allowed Joe the Barber to use the clipper and razor on him without screaming and thrashing for the first time ever.)







Do you see the detail here? Cars! Birds! Clouds! A School! A House-with a DOOR! A Playground! A Sun. I have some seriously cute creative kids here!

Inspired

So a few days ago, I was reading another blog about being a "yes mom".

As in, why say no, when you can say yes.

There are so many times when my kids ask me to do something, and my immediate response is "no". But it got me thinking. Why do I say no all the time? Usually, it's mere laziness. I'd rather read my book to myself (still slogging through Eclipse btw) then read Pinkalicious one more time. I really hate making messes. Painting is messy. As is gluing.

Sometimes I say no because I really need to say no. No, Elisha, you may not wear your hoodie to school when it is 45 degrees outside. No, Shana, you may not wear that shirt with a hole in it. Jacob, you must take a shower. Dovi, you may not drink that cup of milk. You will aspirate it into your lungs and get pneumonia. It's my job to keep them healthy and safe.

But most of the time, that's not why I say no. Despite outward appearances, I'm really lazy. I kind of want the kids that want to sit around and read on Shabbos afternoons. I don't particularly enjoy playing Trouble. I like sitting myself on my couch with a cup of tea and reading. Hopefully something other than the Twilight series very soon.

But I need to remind myself-that's not my job now. I wanted these kids. Really, really wanted them. I love them. It's my job to guide them and nurture them, to love them and teach them right from wrong. And what am I teaching them if when they ask me, if, say, can we make banana bread with you Mommy, I say "No! It's too messy" or, "Will you read me a book?" and I immediately respond with a no?

On Monday night, we dropped Dovi off at the reading tutor. The kiddies were in their jammies already. As we left the house, they realized it was snowing. Tiny little flakes, only sticking on the grass, but snow nonetheless. Elisha, Shana, and Jakie were thrilled! SNOW!!!! When we got back from dropping him off, they asked me if they could go outside and play in the snow. I immediately responded "No, you're already in your jammies". But then I realized-WHY was I saying no? For no good reason. Homework was done. Lunches were made. Laundry was put away. We really had nothing else to get done before bedtime, which wasn't even for an hour. So I said:

"You know what, guys? Yes, you can play in the snow!"

They were so excited! Enjoy the pictures.

Look how cool it is-their jackets have reflective tape on them, and it really works!!



So all went well.

Until Jacob smashed Shana in the face with a debris filled snowball. She still has a big scratch across her face to show for it.

And then Benjie tripped over the huge pile of boots on the front hall carpet.

You can't have everything, my dears :)