Sunday, August 17, 2008

The iced tea story

My wonderful sister in law Tamar has just told me that she never heard the infamous iced tea story.

That shocks me being as it is an EPIC story in the history of Dovi

Think back to the "All About Dovamatic" post. Recall how I wrote that the boy. would. not. eat.

I was 20. I had no idea what I was doing. I just thought: the baby is born. Stick the boob in the mouth. The baby eats. hahahahahahahahahahha

Little did I know the madness that was ensuing with my beautiful 5 pound 1/2 ounce bundle of joy.

When Dovi was 3 days old a home health nurse came to check on him b/c he was so tiny when he was discharged. She noted the orange crystals in his diaper that meant that he was dehydrated.

So we tried to supplement with formula. When he literally had no idea what to do with the bottle, we resorted to a syringe. I put one ounce of formula into a shot glass and we were literally drawing up 5 cc's of formula at a time and squirting it into his mouth. More like squirting it into his lungs, b/c he aspirates all liquids.

So I have set the scene for you.

I was still, however, TRYING valiantly to breastfeed my yet unnamed child.

One time I was sitting in my bed, without a shirt on, with my mom, TRYING to feed him. In walked my wonderful husband holding the aforementioned glass of iced tea, which he held out to me with a smile.


Benjie: "I thought you might want a glass of iced tea"

Me: "WHAT? WHY would you think I want a glass of iced tea? I DID NOT ask you for a glass of iced tea. WHY WOULD YOU BRING ME A GLASS OF ICED TEA IF I DID NOT ASK FOR IT?"

(Imagine the sound of Benjie retreating to the relative safety of the kitchen: anywhere that I was not)

That, my friends is the iced tea story.

moral of the story:

Never offer unrequested drinks to hormonally charged emotionally distraught wives who are trying unsuccessfully to breastfeed their first child at the age of 20 and the baby is aspirating the breastmilk into his lungs and is going to get an ng tube in the next 3 days.

On second thought, it might have been ice water. Not iced tea.

I'll check with Benjie.

K I just did. He said it was iced tea.

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