Friday, August 22, 2008

He's so talented and the best $50 I've spent in a while

So first we talk about Dovi and then on to me.

A few days ago Dovi's counselor called me to ask me a question about the man (his feedings etc). He then continued:

"Does Dovi have any talents? The talent show is tonight"

So of course the evil me thinks:

Well aside from being able to touch burning hot items and not feel it? Or break bones and continue running around? hahahahahahahaha

I say: "I have it! He can make fluids shoot through the air out of his G-tube!!"

Now in all honesty, this really IS a Camp Simcha Special-worthy talent.

I mean, c'mon folks-can YOU make pedialyte shoot across the room?

If you are giving Dovi pedialyte, and are not careful when he giggles, the force of the air coming out through his g-tube causes the pedialyte to get some pretty good hang time.

So Raphi's like: "Oh yeah! That happened in learning groups yesterday-he can DO that on demand?"

I say: "yep"

Raphi: "excellent"

Later on, I was talking to Benjie and asked him if he could think of any additional talents for the boy. He reminded me of Dovi's dance:

The Mojito.

You all know the commercial for Bacardi Rum? I just linked to it-I swear, You Tube has EVERYTHING.

Well Dovi made up his own dance to it. It's seriously hysterical. It involves him snapping his little fingers and wiggling his hips. He looks like a small, chubby, very cute dysautonomic belly dancer. Benjie and I make him do it all the time.

So I called Raphi back and told him about it.

I still have no idea which talent they did:

Launching Pedialyte or The Mojito...hahahahahahahahaha

And now, on to me.

Two nights ago, as I was getting ready to leave for Ravinia to see UB40 (fab), I went down to the basement to get something. large puddle on laundry room floor. dripping. out. of. humidifier.


I called my friend Keren's handy husband and he told me how to turn it off (and the a/c off. Which Benjie was none too happy about). And left for Ravinia. Hey, priorities! Yummy food and a bottle of Moscato were waiting. As were 5 other people.

So I called my friend Rebecca's handyman, Valeri. He came in the morning. I have a new name for him: Inspector Gadget. He went down to my basement with NO TOOLS. 15 minutes later, he came up, and the line from my humidifier was clean and everything was working. He wouldn't tell me how he fixed it. Should I be afraid?

So I arranged for him to come this morning to deal with my dining room light. The timer on it has been broken for...ummmm...a month? two? I have not been able to turn that light off since at the latest, June. I know, Tamar, what was I thinking? That light alone might be responsible for $50 of my $483 electric bill this month. Yikes.

So Benjie went and picked up a new timer last night while I recovered from having my 8 millionth cavity filled in my mouth, when he found another, which might need a root canal or minimally a crown, and we still need to deal with my unexplained pain on my left side, with no cavity present, he might need to pull out the OLD filling and EXCAVATE. And he doesn't use laughing gas. I was literally crying in the dentist's office. I hate genetics. For a multitude of reasons.

This morning Valeri came, and in 15 minutes, changed the darn timer. Then I was like "Hey! Can you look at my ice maker?"

It hasn't been working for like 5 months. We've been buying bags of ice. I know, I know, I am an irresponsible homeowner. But I refused to pay like $100 or something to get my dumb ice maker fixed. But since he was in my house....

So he fiddled for 20 more minutes. Did stuff. Who knows what.

It's fixed.

So in a total of 1 hour, Valeri fixed my lights, my a/c, and my ice maker (making Benjie insanely happy).

Total cost?



Nahum and Rebecca said...

Woah, Valeri rocks. Maybe he can move to Far Rockaway.
As always, my dear twin, you make me laugh.
And this was my first exposure to the Mojito commercial. I can just imagine Dovi's version....

Stephanie said...

Maybe you should have Valeri take a look at your mouth. :)