Not Me! Monday

I would never have worn the. same. outfit. for. two. days. Sunday and today, Monday-hey, it was clean!

My six year old fashionista did NOT call me on it. "Mommy, you wore that outfit yesterday!"

I did not eat 2 1/2 hot dogs at the Blackhawks game last night. Hot dogs are (a) disgusting and (b) very unhealthy.

I did not have my children smuggle said hot dogs into the Blackhawks game last night. They don't sell kosher ones at the United Center!

I did not have a whole discussion with said children about the smuggling of said hot dogs: "Do not talk about the hot dogs stuffed into your coats while we are walking in!"

I did not also stuff said pockets of said children with potato chips because I am too cheap to pay $1.50 for potato chips at the Blackhawks game when same said chips are $.25 at the grocery store.

My children did NOT have a great time at the Blackhawks game last night.

They did NOT go to bed at 9:30pm. On a school night.

I am not the best mother ever.

I am not thanking my mom for the awesome birthday gift for the D man. They liked the hats too. And the soda. And the Lemonheads. Thanks.

Dovi was NOT crying however over the fact that the Blackhawks lost. On his birthday game. "It not fair Mommy"

Benjie did not then have to carry said ticked off 11 year old on his back down three flights of stairs to exist said Blackhawks game.

I am not sitting at work scratching my head because I heard that there is lice in one of my kids' schools.

I am not psycho phobic about lice.

I will check all my kids tonight. Maybe twice.

I did not just spend $8.10 in overdue fees at the library. Why can't I return books on time?

I have not read two out of the four Twilight books in four days.

I am not halfway through the third.

I am not wondering what the hype was about.

But I am not feeling compelled to finish because they're like a car crash that you must watch.

I will not be reading said books tonight. All night.

I am not very tired.

What about you? What didn't you do today?