Thursday, May 28, 2009

The Shawshank P Family Redemption


My basement.

Did I mention that we are having some sewer issues?

As in the pipe that takes the SEWAGE (can we discuss that sewer is spelled sewEr and sewage is spelled sewAge? What's that all about?) out of my house has a crack?

And oh.

The crack is under my foundation?

He's never seen anything like it.

It seems that before we owned the house, the original owners patched said crack.

And a few weeks ago, after a day of torrential rain, we came home and found this.

Can you tell what it is?

It's a large sinkhole. Along the foundation of the house (the west side, near the side porch, if you must know).

They came.

They dug.

First they thought it was the underground gutter line that was cracked.

Then they saw that no, no such luck.

It's our main sewer line.

And thus poo is seeping into our ground.

I want to vomit.

So they told us that since the pipe is positioned all strangely, they need to jackhammer our basement floor.

"You don't have a finished basement, do you?"

Oh no, Mr. Hunter Sewers. That ship sailed about six months ago when our 70s paneled basement became the scary slasher basement.

So they started the pipe repair yesterday.

This is what I came home to.

The view from looking down the stairs. Unfortunately, blogger has decided to rotate the picture. I can't get it back. So rotate your head or your screen if you need to get the full effect.

And the hole.

It's about 3 feet by 2 feet and 3 feet deep.

There is water in the bottom of it.

I am scared.

This one is also rotated. That is my basement wall on the bottom of the picture.

The heap of earth.

It's not even dirt or rubble.


Probably with poo in it.

Back to my title.

Remember in the Shawshank Redemotion when Tim Robbins bangs the stone on the sewage pipe to escape from prison?

And he crawls through the river of poo?

Well we have a mountain of poo to climb over.

To get to this.

The soda stash.

Notice the the disproportionate amount of Fresca.

Yes, it was all free, thankyouverymuch.


Shosh said...

AWESOME. the hole, the fresca- its all just awesome.

Stephanie said...

please tell me your homeowner's insurance will cover this!

Shira said...

You have enough pop to last you a lifetime. But more importantly, this whole situation is indeed nauseating.

Anonymous said...

too bad you can't pay the contractors with soda (only the coke, of course, not the fresca).

in the end, will you all be living by the beach with a suitcase full of money? 'cos then this will all have been worth it!

(well, actually, having a functioning main sewer line and poo-less dirt will also probably be a good thing)

does this mean you can't flush? how are you cooking for yontiff with no water?

hope it all works out!

CynthiaK said...

Holy crap (no pun intended) that is a lot of Fresca!

So sorry to see the state of your basement and that horrific poo infiltration. I hope it gets fixed up good and solid very, very soon.

DESJ and Company said...

no such luck, Steph.
"Normal wear and tear"

agent99 said...

Love Debbie's suggestion - too bad you can't pay in Fresca! So spending the morning with you inspired me to do a little work in the bedroom. But how do I repurpose the remaining linens minus shreded sheet? I am far to cheap to simply free-cycle them!! Ideas?!?!?

Ms. Stephanie said...

Sara, that SUCKS!

Buzzings of a Queen Bee! said...

Oh my gosh, I do not envy you at all! That stresses me out just looking at it! Poor girl!

Brie said...

Would it be tacky to say that it looks like you had a "crappy day"?

amy (3Peas) said...

Okay seriously you had me going "OMG!!!!" to then hysterically laughing at the giant stash of Fresca. It's so you I can't stand it :)