For Brie, the Story of My Cell Phone

So...it was rather hysterical when it happened, I hope it's as funny when I recount it 4 months later.

One lovely summer day, a mommy took her fearsome threesome to the library. They looked at books, chose books (the longer the better for Jakie, the shorter the better for Elisha, and all Nancy Drew for Shana), begged to use the computer (no, you can play computer at home, we are checking out books, not playing games), fought over who could use the scanner at the self checkout (yes, my library has self checkout. I feel like I'm at the grocery store), and we were on our way.

When we got to the car, I wanted to plug my phone in to charge it.

I looked around, checked my purse, etc. No phone.

We retraced our steps into the library. No phone.

We asked the librarians. No phone.

We searched the stacks. No phone.

We harrassed asked the librarians to check again. No phone.

We called the phone. Went to voicemail.

It was incredibly bizarre, because the phone had been gone all of 5 minutes when I noticed it, so where on earth did my cell phone go from a nice suburban library? I figured some teenager must have found my phone and pocketed it.

I went home, called Benjie, and he told me that since I had insurance it wasn't a big deal, I'd just get a new one. So I called my phone company, and told them that it seemed that my phone was stolen from me and I needed to get a new one. They told me that since it was stolen and I didn't have a phone to trade in, I would have to pay the $50 deductible on it. But if I had dunked it in a pool of water and could GIVE them the broken phone, there would be no deductible. Well, anyone who knows me know that I am incredibly cheap don't like to spend money needlessly. I was not pleased. My phone was STOLEN. It was not my fault, and they wanted to make me PAY! Largefightensued,endingwithmechangingphonecompanies

The whole time this went on, I was calling my phone periodically hoping that the person who >del> stole borrowed it would pick up. The calls kept getting sent to voicemail after a ring or two-obviously by someone.

So...I went to the new phone company to get my new FREE phone. Benjie met me there, because in my tizzy to the old company, heck, I switched both of us. So we went to get both our new phones (yes, I'm a spaz, but anyways, the new plan was $50 a month cheaper!). As we were signing up for the new phones, Benjie's cell rang.

My caller ID came up on the display...

I answered it.

A gruff voiced man informed me that he had my phone and I could come get it.

He gave an address not far from where we were.

I decided to go get it.

My very wise husband told me that no way was I going with 3 little children to a strange man's house to get my phone.

So he left me at the cell phone store.

It was a verrrrrrry good choice that he went.

My phone was in the possession of a very huge, very bearded, very tattooed, very smokey scented, very scary biker dude.

My little purple phone.

Benjie was parking his car and saw said gentleman.

He then saw him withdraw my innocent little phone from his biker vest and scroll about on it.

Benjie parked his car and went over to said man.

He requested said phone.

Scary man told him "it will cost you"

Benjie (I can't believe he was so chutzpadik to a man who could eat him for dinner) offered him $1.

Yes, ONE DOLLAR.

The man accepted said dollar and returned said innocent purple phone.

It STANK like smoke.

But no worries, I still switched cell phone providers.

Heck, I'm saving $50 a month!

So...still funny?