Airplane Etiquette

Yesterday I had a 7 am flight to catch to fly to Newark, sit for 3 hours, tearfully reunite with Dovi, and then turn around and fly home. I actually put out some ground meat to defrost in the morning and was home to make tacos for dinner.

Pretty cool.

But I digress. My flight was very early. I am not a morning person. I wish that I was a morning person, like my good friend Rebecca, who is up and in her kitchen at like 6 am. It's all I can do to drab myself out of bed and not bark at my kids in the morning. Because Elisha, well that little stinker evidently needs feeding and watering on a fairly regular basis and is often eating cereal at 6:!5 am while watching SportsCenter to see what WebGems he missed the day before. Yes, boys, I know all about SportsCenter. A hip, Emmy Award winning snapshot of the day in sports. (free 6 pack of Dr. Pepper who knows that I'm quoting) I'm married to a sports freak. Evenings generally find Benjie watching ESPN and me surfing the net or reading.

But I really digress.

My flight was really early. I was looking forward to getting on the flight and going to sleep for the next hour and a half.

What I ended up doing instead was contorting myself in my seat to avoid the man who was adjacent to me.

No fears. He wasn't some sicko who was trying to molest me. He was merely sound asleep and his legs kept relaxing. Onto mine.

At one point, his legs were taking up his leg space and over half of mine. I kept scooting. And fuming.

I actually shoved my purse over to push his feet. When that didn't work, I used my purse to shove his legs. Nothing worked. This man was so passed out that my space = his space.

I was so not happy. I considered calling a flight attendent to help me. But then I felt bad. He wasn't doing this on purpose. He probably would've been horrified if he woke up and saw what he was doing.

So I suffered. Finally, by some miracle, he shifted positions and I was able to sleep for the last half hour of the flight.

But ooh boy, was I irritated. But I kept thinking. At least I wasn't attacked by a large dog like Shosh.

But seriously, folks. There must be some guidebook for proper airline sleeping etiquette. Perhaps the airlines should hand out little leg protectors? Some way to make a little divider between seats? I wanted to CRY.

But I survived and got my boy. Who is possibly the cutest boy ever. Whose tummy got a little bigger and more rotund by a steady diet of french fries, Raphi. Hee hee. He's happy to be home. He's delicious.

My house is trashed. Must get organized. Cannot handle mess. If you walk in my house, it doesn't look so bad. But then you look closer. It's the perimeter. Around the entire perimeter of the interior of my house is a thick layer of crap. Stuff that must be put away. That I am too tired to deal with. I must throw out half my possessions.

And one more cool thing? As we landed home in Chicago, I noticed that we were landing from over Lake Michigan-a flight pattern that my kids often comment on because the landing planes go directly over our neighborhood. So I looked down and was able to identify our neighborhood! I saw so many landmarks that I was able to point out to Dovi. It was super cool.

So we're home.

Only 18 days until Dovi goes to Disney. Oy.