Ask Sara! Answer 4

Anonymous asked...

Hey- I am curious about what life was like when you brought the triplets home from the hospital. What was it like having a special needs child and three newborns in the house? You may have spoken about this, so sorry if you will be repeating yourself. Also, what was it like when you found out you were having 3? How did Dovi relate to his little brothers and sister when they were little? What about now? There's a few question for you now!

I often say that 3 babies that I could feed were sooooo much easier than 1 baby that I couldn't feed. They cried? I fed them. I wasn't spending hours upon hours sitting in doctors' offices and therapy clinics trying to figure out what on earth was going on with my baby.

I also firmly contend that the triplets were G-d's gift to me after Dovi. I spent 10 weeks on full bedrest with them, 4 of them in the hospital. Even with all that bedrest, Elisha, Shana, and Jakie were born over 10 weeks premature at 29 weeks 6 days gestation. They spent 4 weeks in the hospital (it would've been a fun time if I'd been a blogger then!). Even though they were so incredibly early and weighed a mere 2 lb 15 oz, 2 lb 15 oz, and 3 lb 3 oz each, they did not behave like the premature babies that they were. None of them had to be on ventilators-as a matter of fact, Elisha wasn't on oxygen of any kind after he was born! He was on oxygen immediately after birth, and ripped the canula out of his nose on the elevator up from the delivery room to the NICU-and never looked back. Elisha, Shana, and Jakie did not have any of the "typical" preemie medical issues. They were just itty bitty cute little babies that needed a few weeks to learn how to eat and get a little bigger. They were called "feeder and grower"s in the NICU.

We were very fortunate that when they came home from the NICU, they were on an every four hour eating schedule-so they ate at 6am, 10am, 2pm, 6pm, 10pm, 2am, and began again at 6am. My neighbors don't call me "the prison warden" for nothing-we stuck to that schedule like glue-and they were sleeping through the night by November (born on August 12). We were also fortunate that for about 6 weeks, from the beginning of October until mid-November, we had a night nurse to help us out 4 nights per week.



G-d also blessed me with incredibly cooperative, contented babies. They rarely cried unless they were hungry or tired-and then we either fed them of put them to sleep. They were really happy, contented, swaddled little babies.

So. That was the story with Elisha, Shana and Jacob.

On to Dovi's opinion of them.

For the first almost 4 years of his life, Dovi was the king of the castle. I swear, no one was more adored, coddled, and spoiled than Chaim Dov. We were sooo lucky though-he wasn't a brat at. all. He was such a sweetie pie. However, he was not used to sharing any of the attention whatsoever. And when not one, not two, but three adorable little babies entered the equation, he was not pleased.
Miriam, this picture's for you. I found it and had to include it!



We were lucky, though. He didn't try and hurt them, or act out at all. He simply ignored the very existence of all three babies. And let me tell you, it's pretty darn hard to ignore three babies. They totally took over our house-their stuff was EVERYWHERE! Even though they were really wonderful babies, they still did cry. But Dovi just carried on in his life like they weren't there at all.

I would ask Dovi all the time if he wanted to hold one of the babies, or help me feed them, or change their clothes, etc-but he just ignored me totally.

One Saturday night in December (or was is January?) , I asked Dovi the same question, assuming he'd ignore me. But that night, for whatever reason, he answered me. Yes, he did want to help me.
And he never looked back.


He absolutely adores his brothers and sister, and they love him back.


It's become really interesting as they've gotten older. Shana really mothers him, and Elisha is Dovi's biggest helper-he runs and gets me whatever Dovi needs. Jakie loves to play with him. They are starting to really understand how Dovi is different than them and respects him and his differences.

Thanks, anonymous, for sending me on a trip down memory lane!