My speech!

Here we go....my speech at the Big Man's Big Day!



I wrote this speech last week, and I’m still not 100% sure I’m going to give it…but here goes.

There is a story told, a story which I think is very overtold, of the trip to Holland. Every parent of a special needs child knows it, and I’m sure many of you do. But to paraphrase – you were planning, and left, on a trip to Venice, but you got diverted to Holland. You were upset because you didn’t plan on going to Holland-you planned on Venice. But in the end, you see that not only is Holland not too bad, but it’s a beautiful alternative, full of people and experiences you would have never had in Venice.

This is truly our life. When Dovi was born, Benjie and I were innocent, bright eyed 20 year olds. Never did we imagine how our lives were going to change, were going to turn upside down, when Dovi was born on November 13, 1997 at 7:31 am. He looked…perfect. 10 fingers, 10 toes. A perfect little fluffy head of hair. But soon after he came home, it became apparent that things were not as they normally are. Thus began our journey with Dovi. At times, it has been easy. At times, difficult. There have been times of excruciating pain and sadness and times of uninmaginable joy and elation. But through it all, Dovi has simply been our sweet, happy, joyful boy, our Dovi.

It says in Tehillim:

(I said the Hebrew here)


“Serve Hashem with gladness, come before him with joyous song. Know that Hashem, He is G-d, it is He who made us and we are His”

There is in that passage, a Kri-UK’Siv – you read the word one way, but it is written another. You read the word Lo as Lo with a Vav- His – we are His-we are HaShem’s. But Dovid HaMelech wrote the possuk as Lo with an Aleph – which translates to Not. If you translate that part of the posuk that way, using the Lo as Lo with an Aleph, it could be translated as follows:

“Serve HaShem with gladness, come before Him with joyous song. Know that HaShem, He is G-d, it is He who made us and not us.” We, people, did not choose how we were to made. HaShem did. He knew, and planned how each and every one of us were to be created. He created us perfect and Btzalmo, in His image. This is Dovi. He serves HaShem with joy. There is no one that I know of who loves life and is more joyful than Dovi. And he is made exactly the way HaShem wanted him, in His image.

They say that it takes a village to raise a child. I think that in the case of Dovi, it’s more like a small city. I can honestly say that each and every person here has had an important role in Dovi’s life. From Dovi’s pediatrician and nurses to Chai Lifeline, Kids of Courage, Keshet, therapists, and all of our friends, each and every one of you has profoundly impacted not just Dovi’s life, but our entire family’s as well.

From meals and childcare when things are crazy, ski trips and trips to Disney. From Camp Simcha Special, to helping Dovi grow and learn at school to his highest potential. From faxing just one more prescription to giving Dovi the gift of speech. From supporting us through the hard times and celebrating with us in the good times. Every one of you is important. To Benjie and I and to Dovi as well.

But now I do need to thank some people individually. It’s a dangerous endeavor because someone is inevitably forgotten, but I’ll give it a try.

To my mother in law and father in law, Mom and Abba. Thank you for always being there for us, as emergency – or just because – babysitters. We love having you near us and seeing you on an almost daily basis. Abba, thank you for teaching Dovi his laining with such patience and love.

To my mother and step father, Mommy and Hershel. Words cannot do justice for all that you are to us. Mommy, I am the person that I am today because of you. You set a shining example for what it is to love your family with all your heart.

To all my brothers, sisters, sisters in law, and brother in law. David and Debby, Aaron and Tamar, and Rebecca and Nahum, and my nieces and nephews, Yaffa, Meira, Adira, Noam, Shoshie, Estie, Shaindy, Tzipporah, Eliyahu, Akiva, Simcha, Nissy, and Yitzie. Thank you for making the long trip from NY and NJ to be here today. They say you can’t choose your family, but given a choice, I would choose you guys. I love you all so much.

David and Rochie. You two do so much for us, I’m not sure I could even start. Your love and ongoing presence, both by being physically nearby (even though we are north of Touhy), and emotionally, in our lives, means so much to us. Gavi, Miri, Tari, Nava, and Naftali-you guys are amazing.

Aunt Yehudit, or should I say Auntie Leedle – it means so much to us that you came all the way from Israel to celebrate with us. Although you are physically far away, you and your family are always close in our hearts.

The same could be said for Benjie’s Bubbie, Bubbie Rose. Thank you so much for coming so far from Israel for us. It means the world to us that you are with us today.

To all of Dovi’s teachers, doctors, and therapists. It is because of all of you that Dovi is the boy-I mean man-that he is today. A special thank you to Gail Scher for giving Dovi the gift of speech.

A huge thank you to Aharon Gutstein for learning with Dovi on an almost daily basis. It blows me away how you teach Dovi mishnayos with such enthusiasm and simchas hachaim. Thank you!

To all of Dovi’s counselors – especially Raphi and Yakov. You guys are amazing! What you do for Dovi, and all the campers, is beyond comprehension. And yes, when Dovi says potato you are supposed to give him whatever he wants. And if he says avocado? You’d better give in right away!

Elisha, Shana, and Jakie. You are the most wonderful, caring, loving brothers and sister Dovi could ever wish for. The patience and love you show Dovi every day amazes me. I love you all so much and am so proud to be your mom.

Now Benjie. What a strange, wonderful journey this has been. There is no one else I would want to share this with. Yes, I might make everything look pretty on the outside, but without a strong foundation, pretty means nothing. It is your patience, love, and caring that provides that strong foundation for our entire family. Thank you for everything you do for us each and every day. I love you very much.

And now my Dovi, my Bar Mitzvah MAN. I love you so much. You are my bechor. You have taught me so much. About patience (which I’m still working on!) About love. About appreciating the journey, and enjoying the little things in life. You have enriched my life beyond all my wildest expectations. I love you so much and wish you many years of arichas yamim, health and happiness.


I was rather proud of it :)

The big day...

Ok I have reached a new low...I am laying on my couch blogging on Dovi's new iPad...clearly the best way to blog. Ever. I'm only slightly missing the real keyboard. And the ability to upload pictures. But I'm horizontal so I'm happy.

I think that I can easily say that after my wedding and the birth of my children that Dovi's bar mitzvah was the most glorious day of my entire life. It was truly the culmination of 13 years of hopes, dreams, tears, sweat, and love. With a kid with FD, you honestly do not know what the next day will bring. You don't always know if you are going to get that next day. So Dovi's day was one that we looked forward to with anticipation and frankly a few tears. But we made it and I really believe that the bar mitzvah was a celebration of Dovi and everything that is amazing about him.

Now, on to the day! I had a makeup artist scheduled for 6:45 am. Why, you ask? Well ravening was 8:30 and she said she needed about 45 minutes...well...she didn't show up until 7:30!! It made for some stressed out early morning hours, but all's well that ends well and she did my makeup in 25 minutes!

I should backtrack to Wednesday when all of our guests arrived....but hmmm...let's do the bar mitzvah today and I will backtrack? tomorrow? Good?

OK back to Thursday...makeup got done, kids got dressed, minimum of hysteria. It was shocking. Maybe it was also because there was to be no clothing discussions...off we went to the shul.

As I was sitting in davening, it all felt very unreal-like I was an actor playing a role in some elaborate play. It was truly out of body. It also didn't help that I am really, what? 22? So it's not really possible that I was making a bar mitzvah...

My brother in law David davened shacharis beautifully and then my nephew Gavi lained the first two aliyahs of Torah reading. He did a beautiful job. And then it was time for the third Aliyah for the Bar Mitzvah MAN (as he likes to call himself). I didn't talk about it at all because I wasn't sure if everything was going to work out, but my father in law worked with Dovi for almost one year to teach him is laining. Yes, Dovi lained his bar mitzvah aliyah! No, he did not do it with the trop. But he recited each word of his Aliyah (all 68 of them) clearly and loudly. You could have heard a pin drop in the shul. Often times at a bar mitzvah, there is chatting as people are listening. Not so this time. The room was silent. It was as if each person was holding their breath (along with me!) as Dovi labored his way through each and every word. Each and every word which had labored over and taught with patience and love. At the end of his aliyah, as he finished his brachos, you could hear it-the sound of a room about to burst into tears. And then Dovi did it. He ended his bracha with a bang...big arm flourish and style...and the entire room burst out in a laughter of joy and happiness. Dovi saved us all-he reminded us that we needed to e celebrating. So celebrate we did.

There's not much to say about the meal. I showed you all the pretty things already...it was yummy (or so I hear...I didn't eat a thing!...but thank you Michelle for bringing me that cup of coffee!)

We showed a montage. I'm going to try and figure out how to share it. But I am afraid it might be too big of a file. I spoke, Benjie spoke, my mom spoke, my father in law spoke, Dovi made a siyyum on Meseches Sukkah, and then he gave a speech. I'm going to do a separate post with my speech. And there you have it.

Dovi's bar mitzvah.

Well maybe I should blog

about Dovi's Bar Mitzvah...

It was amazing. Unforgettable. Completely surpassed my wildest dreams.

Let's start with Tuesday night, when my lovely friends Estie and Becca (with a visit by Rebecca) helped me set up all my pretties. By the time we left the shul, it looked like this



I did most of the craftiness myself...I covered all the glassware with pretty brown papers until they looked like this




I made the table numbers-I stamped the table number on 1 piece of paper, and put a picture of Dovi on the other side. I found amazing frames at Ikea which I sprayed to match the Bar Mitzvah (brown of course)
I also made the placecards myself (well with a little help from a friend...) and made 3 photoboards to hold the placecards. I clipped the placecards to the large frames that were filled with pictures of Dovi. When it was done they looked like this:





As cards were removed, you could see all the gorgeous pictures of Dovi that Amy had taken. Sorry the picture is blurry-I took it with my cell phone.

The benchers looked like this:


I also made napkin rings for each napkin, and folded each napkin to fit. Look back at the set tables and you can see them.

So I was ready to roll...the room looked pretty and we were ready for the guests!

Wednesday to come....

It was awesome.

More to come.

A Giggle for the Day

Yes, it is less than 36 hours before Dovi's Bar Mitzvah. Yes, I have much to do (well, not really that much)

But I must tell you this story.

So as many of you know, berets are very in the the frum fashion world. I have fallen head over heels for this new trend-I can buy berets anywhere, and heck! they are like trendy snoods. I'm in.

I've been buying most of my snoods at my favorite accessory store, Forever 21. And while much of the clothing there looks like it's made for size 0 streetwalkers, the accessories are fabulous. No offense to the people who shop at Forever 21. I'm sure there is clothing there that is very appropriate. It just takes a bit of effort to find said clothing. But I love, and I mean LOVE, the accessories. Headbands for Shana (her headband for the big day is from there), and berets and costume jewelery for me. Love.

So today I was wearing a beret from there. The elastic is a tad stretched out, so I pin it in the back to make it fit me I'm sure many of you know where this is going....

I went to Walgreens. I bought coffee creamer (on sale with coupons, of course). I went out to my car. As I was opening my car and chatting on the phone, I happened to look at myself in the reflection of my van window. At which point I realized that

I HAD NOTHING ON MY HEAD.

Yes, my hair was feeling the sun on it for the first time in almost 14 years.

I screamed (well not really), hung up the phone, and put on my hood. I then took off my sunglasses because I looked like I was about to rob the Walgreens, calmly went back in,

and found my beret lying in a little heap in front of the coffee creamer.

And no, I did not change my beret. I'm still wearing it now at midnight.

With my contact lenses.

Did I tell y'all I got lenses? I haven't worn them in 8 years but was ready for a change. I'm telling you, Bar Mitzvahing your son is a life changing endeavor.

Look What I Got!

So you all know about my friend Amy the photographer. She had her new little baby this summer-Max! Before Max arrived in all his 12 pounds 14 ounces glory, she came and took pictures of my little stinkers this summer.

Look what came on Friday!


Yes, it's a 3 feet tall and 2 feet wide canvas. Yes, I cry every time I see it.

If only my snood wasn't laying on the steps this would be a perfect picture.

Yes, Yes. I'm Still Alive

But I might get the title of The Worst Blogger in the Entire World Who Should Be Blogging All About Her Beloved Son Dovi's Upcoming Bar Mitzvah

which is in 19daysohmygdI'mfreakingoutIneedsomeofDovi'svaliumimmediatelybreathebreathebreathe

Wowza. It's soon. Like really, insanely, terrifyingly, heartstoppingly, waking up at night panic attackingly soon. Not like that's happening to anybody I know.

I have about 4,000 projects 90% done. But nothing, and I repeat NOTHING, is all the way done. It's not good for the psyche of the insane anal retentive blogger.

I wish I could tell you all about my projects. I really do. But that would ruin it for the people who are, ya know, coming, and deserve to be shocked by my amazing craftiness. Yes, I have been crafting the Bar Mitzvah. Did you expect anything different? And no, I am not paying for it with coupons. When Jewel still took expired coupons, I had visions of saving up all my Catalinas for like two years and ordering trays from Jewel and paying for them with insane stacks of Cats, but alas, that was not to be and we have a real caterer. Which will be much easier for me but much more expensive, which makes the thrifty coupon shopper in me throw up a little in my mouth.

Luckily I have wonderful friends and wonderful personal shoppers in New York (I WILL find out how much I owe you, and I WILL pay you back!) and hopefully we have almost everything we need. Yes, almost. Still not everything. Faint.

And no worries, I have an anatomy test on Thursday, as well as book fair for ESJ's school all this week. Yikes.

But on the upside, Dovi has really cute shoes for the Bar Mitzvah.